is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
