And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
