He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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