OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
