that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
