ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
FUCK WHALES
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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