my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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