margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
