i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
