And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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