I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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