i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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