I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
