I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
