Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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