there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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