I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
