Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize