i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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