I'm drive I can fine osifer
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
