we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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