The maid of honor just puked.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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