brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
