I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
