my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
