Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
