OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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