Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
