So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
