i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
