He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
