first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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