I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
