"it" just moved
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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