This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
