Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
