she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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