so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
