If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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