did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Alive.
So much puke
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
