She's JV to your varsity
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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