My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
