Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
