My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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