This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
