its not stalking. its research.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
