I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
