The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
