i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
