so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
