this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
