Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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