did you get engaged???
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
