are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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