Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
