Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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