Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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