Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
